Saturday, April 17, 2010

Memphis to Bangalore - Part 2

Memphis to Bangalore – Part 2
(…continued)

.….. Aug 2007, my father finally returned home after a prolonged two weeks of stay in the 6th floor of the Hospital. All of us were just thrilled to see the smile back on his face and support back on his spine. Now, it’s his own turn of treating himself with sufficient exercise to justify the metal and cage inserted into his vertebral column, thanks to the advanced medical technology. By the time we bid adieu to the hospital, I had made myself quite familiar to each and every corner of the hospital. I was kind of a Premium customer due to my frequent visits to the various departments - Orthopedic when Ashwini was admitted a few months ago after being hit by our house gate one windy morning during Summer of 07 & of course, my routine trips to the ENT corner.

Around the same time, we celebrated Arabhi’s 2nd year birthday when my improved father was able to ascend 2 floors in the party hall. Even after the surgery with a sigh of relief, he still suffered pain when I continuously coughed. It was my time to consult the well established Pulmonogist in Rajajinagar. It was my testing time not just as a chronic patient, but also as a driver from E-city to the Bashyam circle, honking and coughing all my drive. After a series of tests to my lungs, some Anti histamine capsules were supplemented to my medicine menu card. Curious were my family when I returned home late with a bunch of reports, graphs, medicines and prescription. As usual, a few days later, I started feeling better after the intake of new drugs, but hopes always short lived. Just a day before Karnataka Rajyotsava of 2007, when we completed our first anniversary of "Return to India", nasal dripping re-started. When I sadly looked back at my one year of achievement, I remembered my US Manager’s words that doors would always be open if I decide to join them back.. Before I left Memphis I remembered Srinidhi mentioning, “We’ll see you back sir in Memphis after a year :-)”…… Will running away solve my problem? … Well..It might.. But that wasn’t just my motto and I will rather fail the very purpose of returning back. I knew my father’s case was just a temporary fix and there were many more in pipeline. I definitely couldn’t have quit, hence decided to re-sharpen my cartooning skills and contribute for Infy in some way.

After all, re-starting cartooning after a long break of 7 years wasn't that easier. After enquiring our intranet portal folks I could start "Infytoons", much to my satisfaction for being able to use the rusted creativity. My cold, cough and sore throat mates kept visiting me every few days making quite sure, I don't dare enough to sing. However, in that week's span of “cough-free” break I could barely open my tanpura & tabla bags and close them safely. Meanwhile, a friend of mine also a Tablist Guru, Shankar Kulkarni tried motivating in arranging me concerts.. I was quite reluctant, but having believed in me, he continuously visited my place accompanying me on Tabla despite his busy schedule as a Delivery Manager. However I only kept coughing. When my father was just showing good signs of improvement, one night he was unable to prevent spraining his ankle, leading the problem from Neurology to Orthopedic. For my Jan 2008 New Year wishes e-mail, one of my friends from Memphis, Doris responded, “Hey bro, I understand your commitment to your family, but you got to take care of yourself first”.. She was right.. I badly needed to take care of myself to move forward.

The newly formed TV channel in our company, interviewed me for their very first show ‘Offline’ when I was constantly involved in contributing cartoons to their portal. Well,, I thought finally that would mark an end to my bad days journey, but as they say, “Prathama chumbanam danta bagnam”, had to undergo some technical issue on the very show in the IT company and no one could watch it including myself. Now it’s available on youtube though :-) visit - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wBsrEnIUjY

Meanwhile, I dared posting a message to the Infy classical music forum in seeking support for a fusion music group. When hardly anyone responded, my interest and confidence even dampened. Anyways, I didn't have to go for a follow up with the musician group as, my “happy break” was soon over and I was back into my fever/cold and coughing business. It was probably the same time I read an album release article from a fellow musician colleague, Manu Shrivastava. I congratulated him and also expressed interest in meeting, but didn’t receive a reply.

Without much of any luck, I continued drawing cartoons on the corporate world. It wasn't that easy to get published because I had to prove and re-establish the contacts all over again. “Times of India” started publishing.. but as it wasn’t on a regular basis, my motivation levels kept fluctuating. Thatskannada.com also published some.. In all, my enthu meter varied depending upon the publication. I had almost lost the immunity in a year by the intake of drugs with mild steroid and anti histamines content. Perhaps, this resulted in a rare infection, “Herpes Zortes”, making half of my face with pus filled rashes. As I looked real obnoxious, I stayed home for over a week to placate my scary derma caused by this Vericella virus, which in turn also infected Ashwini with its contagious sibling, “Chicken pox”. Arabhi’s vaccinations given in the US somewhat shielded as anti virus from this viral attack. My “Shaapa vimochana” still appeared like a distant dream. For more than a year I continuously sneezed, threw the flem out, wiped my nose, took all the Desi remedies people recommended to pacify - ginger/pepper/turmeric/honey/kashaya/Tulasi/Chawanprash etc. I also developed dark circles around my eyes and ache in the upper back due to the chronic cough. At nights, I used to sleep like a baby and start my day, coughing as an old man. I barely managed to even attend my Guruji Pt. Parameshwar Hegde’s Guru poornima functions. When I explained my problems, even he felt helpless and only wished me for the speedy recovery and I continued to remain as a dead man because I never lived without music. Ayurvedic Amritarista and Balaristha were something that I was advised to take to bring back my immunity.

April 2008 was the time when I had my major achievement giving the finishing touch to my home studio setup after buying low end mixer, speakers and step up transformers! When we were absolute clueless about the Sound engineering stuff way back in 2003, it took us just about 3 months in our Cordova apt going thru Online forums. My setup was complete, but singing was still out of reach. I dared knocking the doors of my vocal cords only when my cough took break for a few days. Usually the symptom returns with vengeance after a few days break. This time, May 2008 became a complete peaceful month, free from all symptoms. However, our Hospital rounds didn’t come to a halt - this time it’s Ashwini’s surgery turn for the removal of cyst.

When Prabhakar Parikh from Memphis visited us during his India trip in this hot summer, we could glimpse the entire Memphis in him. I sang Raag Bageshri during his stay at our place. June wasn't too bad either.. I sang Raag Rageshri, Dhanashri, Madhuvanti, Durga, Poorvi… (beautiful names huh?J) .. Shobha aunty from Hunstville visited the same time. I had started recording and editing some half a dozen half done songs that were initiated in US just before we left. I knew, often, follow up’s work. Hence, I knocked Manu Shrivastava’s mail box again and this time he was prompt replying and after listening to my samples in www.soundclick.com/vishwini, he responded “Saastang pranaam Guruji...My pleasure meeting you”. That was one of my greatest compliments I received from an exceptionally talented musician since we returned from US. For the first time in about 2 years, I managed to sing for a concert arranged by my Tablist friend, Kulkarni in Sep 2008..At the end of the concert, I could notice Ashwini's eyes patting my back and my parents watching me from a distance were almost in tears. I couldn't believe for a moment it was me singing. It was not just the voice that I had lost; practice, ability, confidence, rather everything. In the same month, I performed for a Ganesha festival too. I then started thinking where did those terminator symptoms go, that had reminded, “I WILL BE BACK!” before leaving me last summer? Later, when there was a request for a Jugalbandi of Carnatic and Hindustani concert for Infy Karnataka Rajyotsava 2008, I nominated myself as a vocalist.

My first concert in Infy in Nov 08 was soon followed by the formation of a dream group "Xprescions". When Vikram seek my help forming the group, though I was little scared of my condition initially, I finally took up the charge of composing, arranging, connecting with the musician friends. No one in the group would have had a clue of my condition just a few months ago. Most of the group members knew me only from this point of time as a hale and healthy musician. The symphony concert in March 2009 was a phenomenal success.


Formation of this group probably changed my Rekha giving me a second birth. After the concert, quite a few wondered where I was all these days. For all of them, I sincerely replied, “Well,, probably sitting next to you coughing, unnoticed.." :-) .. I developed many friends and could sense myself going back to my college days, feeling ten years younger ;).. Over a decade ago, we had a wonderful musician group of friends - Anil, Yashwaswini, Vardhamana, Kitta and few others. I could now feel all of them in this group, which I badly missed after my return.

We started performing as a group in many public places. As a group we received recognition, respect, support, award and we also learnt many things; it was the practice sessions that we treasured more than the performance. Making time for practicing alongside the ever demanding work and the family time has been quite a challenge for all of us and we had to overcome this if we need to move along. Now Manu, Himesh, Sarang, Shruthi and many other musician friends along with me work as a team composing and performing.


We started getting featured in the newspapers all over again. Recognition from the media, company and various organizations also boost one’s confidence. It certainly gives an immense feeling when one’s hard work is appreciated. Any success story would have often witnessed a number of failures, which are normally unseen. Now, the immunity of my conditioned body has tremendously improved, but I still get attacked from my old pal once in a while. Whenever I could sense that the terminator is on my way, I make sure I take precautionary measures to keep him away and if it all he makes, stays for at least a month or two giving me hard time and hard cough. Now I have a hope that, it wouldn’t last for long. I continue singing so as to stay in the race. When I recently explained my colleague friend, how I used to be home by 5:15 in the evening after work, have light supper at 6 and then go for a peaceful pollution free walk, and back on my music, she compared my life to that of Raghuvir Yadav's "Mungeri Lal ke haseen Sapne".. How true it is!! It might be hard for the people here to believe the way we lived. I now realize that I was probably riding on the top of the wheel then, which wouldn’t remain at the same position. One may not remain in the same coordinates all the time, be it good or bad, top or bottom, it has to change. There is always a success, always a failure, always a surprise, always a hope.

Almost a decade ago, when I was living in a 10*10, drawing room attached kitchen attached bathroom near Raghavendra Swami temple in Hulimavu, did I imagine I would have a US born daughter one day?..
In the same way, I never predicted my Mungeri dreams would take a 360 degree turn one day and then trouble me staying at the bottom of the wheel for years. My father’s surgery wasn’t a permanent one either. Pain aggravated from the Lumbar spine region, demanding another round of surgery which took place just a few days ago without any major issues.

At work front, probably it only worsens when you move up the ladder. However, I can’t help sincerely hoping for a change one day or somewhat adjust to this environment. Traffic problems?? Well – Metro :-) "Bhagavan jaane!!" when it completes; wherever we are, India or abroad, still have the same amount of time in a day, where we spend more than half a day for satisfying the customers in the west and.... ofcourse our bosses (will they ever be satisfied?? ;).. And rest, the commitment and support to the family - spouse, kid(s), parents, and the list goes on.. whoaaaa.. Where do we have time now? ..and there is still a long way to go for reaching the next level. I still manage to spend time for my music to an extent, still draw cartoons on demand, still perform, still compose, and try indulging in social responsibility activities whenever time permits... It’s possible in my case, because I still don't know where the Garuda Mall is in Bangalore, I may have visited "Forum" once or twice,,, "Chak de India" was my only movie in last 5 years before we updated our "Avatar", I hardly do shopping. I’m least knowledgeable on the restaurants we have in Jayanagar or Koramangala or BTM Layout, and when my friends talk about shares and market, I see stars, I rarely take vacation, and I have almost stopped watching my favorite cricket matches :-( but I still enjoy life and my true passion.. :-) I know I have to loose battles to win a war as it’s quite difficult for a person linked to an ever demanding professional competency and yet trying to excel in some other.

Arabhi now 4, very much enjoys following our footsteps, be it in the form of singing or drawing or dancing or acting and this is how our lives have adapted without compromising the true passion. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsFma5BRTeg
However at times, when people enquire me about their “Return to India” plans, I try giving an unbiased view and stay neutral with more facts and figures :-). One of my friends who lived in Phoenix, Arizona for over 15 years returned back and now working for the same company, living in a very comfortable Brigade apartments, and their US born kids enjoying their Indian school life. Just to quote another example, a friend of mine hailing from South Canara during his India trip a few years ago, was unable to cope up with the torturing sultry Mangalore heat, jetlag, had to stay away from his own house and move to an Air conditioned hotel when his kids terribly suffered. Situations vary from one individual to another. If something works for one, not necessarily should it work for others, and viceversa. I would consider this as just a new phase; though my transition was quite a long one, but marks a very interesting phase of my life, witnessing the good old Mississippi river side drive to the “Nice” bumpy ride of narrow Gottigere and Begur lakes..

Arabhi now hardly remembers a thing of her US stint, however relates every US city, downtown, snow in the Star movies & HBO channels to ‘Memphis’, and even says sometimes “Papa, Memphis ge hogoNa?..” (shall we go to Memphis?).... Nodding my head, I simply smile at her and react “Yes, Putti..we’ll go some day”… Well, I hope, after a few years she gives me a similar smiley look if at all she happens to read this some day ;)

Success is not the key to happiness
Happiness is the key to success
If you love what you are doing
You will be successful!

- Albert Schweizer



Best wishes - Thanks for reading and the comments given for the previous part :-)